There’s something to be said about choosing familiar over new.

I have a few different kinds of anxiety, all awful in different ways. And when I have a moment where i’m not feeling sick or anxious, or i have a new/more rare type of anxiety show up out of no where, i don’t know what to do with it.

It’s like, even though it’s horrible, i’d rather my usual anxiety to some new feeling. Cause at the very least, I know this is anxiety.

Today I feel weird. I feel like i’m not in control of my body (even more so than normal) – and i feel like i’m about to come apart somehow, at any moment.

I don’t know what to do with it. Is there a problem or do I just try to go about my business? How do I manage it? it’s different. What is the limit to it? Where will it take me today?

I’d like to know so I can plan accordingly – somehow

I always want to know what’s coming, I want to know, I want to be in control. And that’s why I am are fearful as I am. I keep trying to control things that can’t be controlled – which is sure to make anyone crazy. Grasping at nothing – failing to climb that slide made of ice.

Dear new anxiety

i don’t know what you want

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