Cried on and off all day yesterday. And for a good few hours in the afternoon. I hadn’t cried that much in a very long time. But I think I needed to. Crying can be your body’s way of just saying it’s over exhausted, that it needs a break, that it’s carrying too much weight.

Had another life upturning panic attack today on my way and at my doctor’s appointment. Almost turned around, almost left. But at least my Doc saw the eye of the storm that is my panic and seemed to realize just how bad it is. Every time someone passed me in the waiting room I flinched, like i’m a broken and burned animal on the ground with vultures hovering and picking at me. Even though they’re really just people minding their own business, also not feeling great cause why else would the be at the doctor, right?

Didn’t eat much for dinner but I think I ate enough to not have too much hunger later.

Wandering

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